Soul Mates, Finding the One…Religious Order
April 3, 2008 by Sean
So you may be thinking about trying out religious life. You may have worked up enough courage to finally say to yourself and the Lord, yeah I guess I would be willing to try it out…but how do you choose, there are so many religious orders and congregations which one is for you?
I think of it a lot like finding your soul mate or the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with on earth. When looking for the one, you look for someone who is attractive and also someone with whom you can be yourself. Or even better, you look for someone who will make you more yourself, who will challenge you to grow into that person that Jesus sees when he looks at you.
It is the same with finding the right religious order. While aspects of their lives such as how they pray, how their community life works, what their habit is, what their mission is are very important (these qualities I see as those that are concerned with the attractiveness of an order) I think it is equally important to find an order that you feel at home with, one where you can be better than yourself so that you might grow closer to Jesus.
If any of you that are discerning, whether you have started discernment with a specific order or not, would like to share your experience of choosing the right order, narrowing it down, etc. please comment!
You know, I started with the Salesians and quickly decided that they did not pray enough for me. Back then I did not understand that their entire lives were one continuous prayer.
I had not taken the time to visit the Sisters, though. Big mistake.
I honestly think that you cannot judge a religious order from their flier, website, or one phone conversation. If there is something in your heart that says “oooh! maybe!” then you should go and visit. So what if it is not the right place - are you going to lose anything by visiting? At least you would known one way or another.
The “ooh! maybe!” feeling about the Salesians stayed with me for many years, but I was reluctant to follow up on it. When I eventually caved to God’s persistent nudging, and I went… I felt SO at home with the Sisters. It was like being with my family. I was more myself, more free, more joyful.
I guess the best way I have heard it described is that something in your DNA just matches… there is a part of you that is touched that you have not experienced elsewhere. It is a piece of yourself that you find, when it is the right place.
I am very happy with the Sisters. Yes, there are bumps and scrapes along the way, but all of that helps in the growing process that is formation and teaches me more about myself.
I do not regret visiting the other Orders that I visited, though. I learned a lot from them.
I do not regret taking the plunge “into the deep” and entering, either. Formation is not easy, anyone who says it is really does not realize what they are doing, but I can say without hesitation that it is TOTALLY WORTH IT.
So take the plunge. You may find yourself.