Clairifying the Challenges, Seeking the Truth, and Understanding Vocation

Don Bosco had a lot of tough times in his life. I was recently reflecting on a time in the late 1840s where most of his older boys who were the leaders of the Oratory as well as many of the younger boys had abandoned him, being drawn away to Protestant youth gatherings because of the promise of gifts or money.

His Oratory must have been falling apart right before his eyes.

Don Bosco must have felt like a failure, I wonder why didn’t he just walk away from it all and take up work in a school or some other establishment as a priest. Why did he keep going even when things looked like they weren’t working out? Why didn’t he reasonably say “well Lord you must not be calling me to this” and move on?

Religious life is filled with joy but also great challenges. Sometimes we show up to continue our discernment in a seminary or house of formation and we begin to realize there are some things we may not like. “Why don’t they do things this way?” or “I thought things would be different, what is going on?” are questions we may ask ourselves. If we are not careful these doubts can lead us away from our calling.

What I am learning from Don Bosco’s example as well as my own experience is that these externals are not a major part of this “vocation equation.” A vocation is a calling from God and what matters is our response to that calling, mostly regardless of the externals surrounding us.

Our current culture is so mobile that when a young man or woman in formation encounters something that is really a challenge to accept, I think the natural temptation is to first think about leaving. A common misconception is the ever-present thought “well this is not what I thought it would be so I guess this is God’s way of telling me I’m not called to this.”

I think of St. John of the Cross who worked fearlessly with St. Teresa of Avila to reform the Carmelite Order. During this time he went through some major challenges, one of which was that he was locked in a jail cell for about 6 months by some of his OWN Carmelite brothers! If he had given up because he “just wasn’t feelin’ it” or because he thought “God must not be calling me to this because He is speaking to me through these challenges and telling me this is not for me” where would the Carmelites and where would the Church be today?

Vocations, life callings, are not based in the end on feelings, they are based on love. How do I know Jesus is calling me to be a Salesian priest? When I am quiet in front of Him in the Eucharist or during quiet prayer I hear Him calling me, not forcing me, but calling me. Do I sometimes question my vocation because of external problems and challenges I encounter or because sometimes “I’m not feelin’ it,” yes, I do. However if God is calling, how can I not answer, who am I to walk away from Jesus who was willing to go through so many challenges for me and for all of us.

I don’t remember ever hearing Jesus say in the garden of Gethsemane “Well Father, this plan of Yours is really hard and there are some things that I don’t want to go through with, so I guess you must not be calling me to die on a cross, thanks, I’m glad we had this talk.”

He knew His call, and He answered it. I pray that I and the others called to this special vocation will do the same. Pope Benedict told us at the youth rally in NY to “have courage,” I pray we will.